One of my all time favourite feelings is nostalgia. I enjoy spending time reminiscing and I love the warm, happy, feelings and memories it brings but I also, strangely, enjoy the sadness that comes with it. I’ve tried to work out why it makes me feel sad, or wistful, and I think it’s a combination of the yearning for reliving an earlier moment in time; the rose tinted glasses effect making the past seem better than it actually was; and jealousy of the younger me who could have done things differently and who had their whole life ahead of them.

I can get sent down a nostalgia-filled rabbit hole from a song, a place, a photo, a smell, a TV theme tune or a random memory that pops into my head. I’ve spent many an evening thinking about the social awkwardness I felt at school; the enjoyment I felt from messing about on the river; the absolutely brilliantly fun times I had with housemates at uni; and the anxiety and excitement of previous relationships. It can be a real emotional rollercoaster but memories are full of feelings and I like that.

In a lot of cases my memories are with people who are no longer in my life and that brings me a lot of sadness. It’s hard to explain but I know that when I reminisce I know that nobody else is thinking about that particular memory at the same time as me and this also makes me feel strangely lonely. It’s as if the memories and little moments I look back on are things that I only I find worthy of cherishing.

As a random example, if I hear the song “Undivided Love” by Louise I can’t help but think about being in performing arts class at school and the feeling of adoration I had for the girls that were practicing their dance routine to that song. This gets me thinking about school and the friends I had, the people I fancied, and just how simple life felt back then making me wish I could go back. This yearning makes me more nostalgic and so the feeling grows.

How do others feel about nostalgia? Do you enjoy the mixed emotions reminiscing brings?

I don’t really read film reviews as I’m not really interested in what they have to say. That’s because I like to watch films where I feel emotion and empathy for the characters - I like to be moved. Film reviews don’t really tell me any of that as they cater for the mainstream which is why I don’t really read them.

For example, a lot of my friends love action and superhero films and whilst they are loved by many people around the world I often find them boring, predictable and a waste of my time (sorry to be controversial!). It’s perhaps ironic that I absolutely loved Joker which got panned by a lot of fans and critics for itself being too boring. However I loved the fact that it eschewed big action sequences in favour of building a very deep emotional profile of the Joker which was interesting, moving and emotive. I guess you either love films like this or you don’t - at the end of the day everything is down to personal taste.

I used to keep a log of all the films I would watch and would give them a rating out of 5 stars. I gave the overwhelming majority of the films I watched 3 stars meaning that I thought they were “good” or even “really good” but these films, typically, didn’t move me. Take a film like The Shawshank Redemption, Schindler’s List or The Green Mile which move me every time I watch them - they all get 5 stars. Think of it this way, have you ever watched a film that moved you or made you cry and then gave it anything less than 4 or 5 stars? I seem to waste a lot of time on films that I wouldn’t give 4 or 5 stars to and wish there was a better way of getting suggestions for films that I will love every time.

For me, the best stories are the ones where I get emotionally connected to the characters. I know it’s a cliché but the Harry Potter 🧙books and films are great for this along with other epic tales such as The Lord of the Rings 💍 and The Pillars of the Earth 🏰(I think long stories help to build stronger bonds and feelings for characters).

I also can’t get enough of stories that feature an introvert as the main protagonist but there’s sadly not a lot of them. Amélie 🤫 is an obvious choice and I just adore The Station Agent 🚂 which is a massively under-the-radar film about friendship which always gives me the feels. If you’ve not seen it, seriously give it a watch if you want a heartwarming story, especially if you’re an introvert!

It’s fair to say that I feel sad and a bit mournful when I finish a good story where I have formed an emotional connection with the characters. At times like this it makes me think about creating my own fictional place that I can escape to. I’m not entirely sure what this made-up world would look like or what stories I would tell but I know it would have depth and detail and be full of characters to empathise, and enjoy spending time, with. Does anyone else ever feel like doing this to fill a void left by a particularly moving story that you’ve finished?

It’s fair to say that I have a very unique and eclectic taste in music. There’s a lot of music I enjoy because it makes me feel happy but there’s a smaller group of tracks that move, or resonate with, me in a different way.

One such track is “My Own Space” by the Steve Miller Band which is the final track, and a deep cut, from their 1977 album Book of Dreams. This is one song that I can’t help but float away with every time I hear it. I love the simplicity of the song which is about one person setting aside their problems and finding freedom in their own space. It’s just wonderful to me.

I find it energising to have time to myself and I think that a lot of introverts feel the same way. Whilst I do enjoy spending time with people I find it quite draining and I’m often looking forward to my next escape when I can be alone.

I have happy memories of a time when I booked a last minute trip to Iceland by myself and loved the feeling of being disconnected and in awe of such an expansive and truly beautiful landscape. It’s hard to describe the feeling but it was a mixture of feeling grounded and awed yet free and inspired which I know is slightly contradictory! I also got a sense of liberation by being there by myself knowing I could take everything in I wanted to at my own pace.

Whilst a lot of people would be bored rigid I’m my own best friend and am quite happy spending time alone with my thoughts which is when I come up with some of my best ideas. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be alone forever and I very much enjoy spending time with my friends and family, but every now and then I just need time out to relax, recharge and enjoy my own space.

I love it when every now and then I smell something that suddenly propels me back to another place and time. For a lot of people this might happen when they smell the distinctive smell of crayons or Play-Doh - something that they may not have smelled since their childhood. For me, I get instant waves of nostalgia when I smell smoke from a bonfire or chimney.

When I smell this kind of smoke I’m instantly reminded of my childhood when I would happily play outside. Back then open fires were more popular than they are today and autumn and winter nights would be cool and crisp and scented by the smoke emanating from homes that had real, open, fireplaces. Occasionally there would be a bonfire or field fire and without sounding like some kind of strange smoke connoisseur I can differentiate between the smell of a coal fire and a wood fire and each provides their own memories for me. It might be a memory of spending time with a friend, a particular adventure in the woods or, most excitingly, a completely random memory which I had forgotten about until the smell of the smoke unlocked it for me.

As a side note, I find these kind of memories totally fascinating - something I had long forgotten but them seemingly remember out of the blue. How many of these memories do I have, if in fact you can call them memories? 🤔

Oddly, if I ever come across the acrid smell of burning rubbish, which is fortunately not very often, I am instantly transported back in time to a university field trip where I had to map rocks in Spain which included an area around a burning landfill site. Whilst I don’t have particularly great memories of the smell itself, or that part of my trip, it does remind me of a moment in time which I enjoy reminiscing about. It’s odd how a seemingly revolting smell can conjure up fond memories!

I love the feeling of cosiness whether it’s from reading a book, watching a film or experiencing it in real life. I often fantasise about escaping to an old house somewhere remote that has an open fire where I can be alone with my thoughts and can just switch off and relax and not have to worry about anything. The Gryffindor Common Room from the Harry Potter films is perhaps one of my all-time favourite fictional cosy retreats.

If I think about being cosy I often think about being warm, safe and comfortable and somewhere with an open fire. However, this got me thinking about what features the ultimate cosy place would have…

🏠 First and foremost it must be a place of safety and the stronger the better - sheltering in a 100 year old stone house will be more cosy than being in a tent.

⛈ It must provide shelter - especially when it’s horrible outside such as when it’s cold, wet, windy and stormy.

🌬 Being able to see or hear these outside elements like the sound of the howling wind or rain beating on a window adds to the effect of feeling cosy. I love lying in bed listening to the wind and rain.

🔥 There should be plenty of warmth and comfort. I think this is why I always think of open fires when I think about being cosy. Don’t get me wrong, I like a nice warm radiator but there’s something about a roaring fire that gives me the feels!

🍽 You should have everything you need in your place of shelter to not need to go outside such as having plenty of food and water. The less you need to worry, the more you can feel cosy. I’m terrible for stocking up on food but I know it’s because it makes me feel more cosy at home as I can get away with going out less.

🪵 A cosy place should have a natural feel about it which is perhaps why I always gravitate to thinking about old places made of wood and stone. This is far more warm and comforting than modern building with lots of concrete, metal and glass. Fire and candles create a much warmer atmosphere than harsh electronic lights which should be used sparingly.

🎶 It should be quiet, peaceful, relaxing and free of electronic music and other noises. There’s something about acoustic music (I’m thinking of something you might hear in a Tudor house) and people chatting that is quite comforting and lends support to the cosy feel. Sleeping animals also promote a relaxing, restful, safe and carefree environment.

🙋 Whilst I love being alone, knowing that there are other friendly and welcoming people nearby provides a source of support and security. Hearing people chatting nearby is quite comforting and lends support to the feeling of cosiness.

📏 I find that small spaces are cosier and more intimate than larger spaces - sheltering in an aircraft hangar wouldn’t be as cosy as sheltering in a small shed, for example.

I am very open to any suggestions anyone has for books, movies or games that create a strong feeling of cosiness. I plan to share some of my favourites in due course and I hope to find many more as part of this blogging adventure!

I’m an introvert, empath and highly sensitive person meaning that feelings and emotions are a big part of who I am. They drive my likes and dislikes; dictate how I interact with people; impact the way I think; and influence my behaviours and even the things I buy. I love films that make me emotional; the way I can be moved just by looking at a particularly atmospheric landscape; and I am obsessed with feeling cosy. I’m so fascinated by feelings that I felt compelled to start this blog even though I have absolutely no idea where it will take me but I am looking forward to the adventure!